Grooming the Groom pt.2: Choosing Your Groomsmen

Congratulations. You’ve done the knee-bending and the question popping and she said “yes”!
Now that you’ve chosen the woman you want beside you the altar, it’s time to call in the guys.
Choosing your groomsmen is no easy task. Some of you may think of this as a potentially
political, sickly twisted way of choosing between your friends. Not since choosing sides for
sports in grade school has such a decision been so blatant in telling people who you like more
than others. YIKES! But fear not, there are some rules you can follow to make your life (and
your explanations to those not picked) a little easier. Actually although I said RULES, what I
really mean is that there are some rather fuzzy, kinda sorta guidelines that may help you choose those guys who will agree to wear the same clothing and pretend to like the key chains you’re going to give them for supporting you on your wedding day.
First, THERE IS NO CORRECT NUMBER OF GROOMSMEN that you should have. You are
free to chose as many or as few as you like. The average number is between one and six.


Second, THERE ARE NO SET RULES ON MATCHING GROOMSMEN TO BRIDESMAIDS.
Think quality and not quantity. You should never ask someone to be part of your wedding party just to make up the numbers.


Third, YOU CAN ASK YOUR FEMALE FRIENDS to act as “Groomspeople”. Gone are the days
when your best female college roommate (I said roommate not old college girlfriend) has to
stand on the sideline. If she is close to you, she can stand up for you.
Some of the duties of a groomsmen include greeting and seating guests at the ceremony;
helping with the behind-the-scenes heavy work in preparation for the wedding; planning and attending the bachelor party; and generally helping out the groom. The groomsmen also escort the bridesmaids down the aisle, which is a reason to consider keeping the boy/girl ratio even.


Fourth, QUALITIES YOUR BEST MAN SHOULD POSSESS are reliability, punctuality, sense of
humor and good public speaking skills.
Choosing a Best Man is a tough task. The tradition began during the Renaissance; the best
man was like a matrimonial bodyguard, making sure that no one tried to steal the bride (who
unfortunately was often not interested in marrying the groom) before or during the ceremony.
Back then the person chosen to be the best man was usually the best swordsman in town.
Fortunately, times have changed a bit and fencing skills are no longer a prerequisite for this
honor. There are certain qualities that a best man should possess since he does play an
important role on the wedding day. For starters, he should be responsible. It is his job to get
the groom to the church on time. It is also his job to have both wedding rings in his pocket and
hand them to the bride and groom at the appropriate time. A best man should have no fear of
public speaking and posses a great sense of humor. He will be expected to give a toast either
at the rehearsal dinner or the wedding reception. Most importantly, he should have good
planning skills and a great sense of fun; it is the best man who is responsible for planning the
bachelor party!

I like to tell people to choose someone they will still be sharing this memory with in twenty years. Many grooms choose their brother, best friend, and sometimes even their
father. But whomever you choose, be sure the bond between you is based on true friendship
and loyalty. These are the values that will make choosing your best man reflect the true honor